I stepped into University full of hope and aspiration, with the urge to learn and to explore what is beyond my imagination. I entered University to discover who I am and what I can be.
Don't have to remind me... I am being naive... I know
Some where along the path, my spirit dampen, my hopes crushed, my aspiration disappeared, my courage diminished, my ambition shrunk. I think this is it.
After so many tries and so much effort, I still foolishly believe that perseverance is the key to enlightenment. Perhaps it is. And I am just not patient enough or worthy enough for it. It is extremely heart breaking to see many sleepless nights of effort, many battles fought with blood, sweat and tears, all reduced to nothing but smoke and dust.
I am starting to doubt myself. I am no longer sure of my abilities anymore. That is the consequences of letting go of my pride and ego perhaps? Am I even in the right course, doing the right field of studies?
Alas... I shall take inspiration from my favourite poem "IF" by Rudyard Kipling.