Thursday, April 9, 2009

Arrogance Vs Self Confidence

One day, a capable and efficient person strode into the room with pride, a sense of purpose and importance. He held his head up high and walked with such self believe that anyone would be envious of him. You know he is a man of position and is capable of handling his job. He is someone who knows his things and is not afraid to answer your question with such assurance that you start to doubt yourself.

Do you call him arrogant? Or someone who is confidence of himself?

According to Merriam Webster, the definition of ARROGANCE is an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions. It means that one thinks that he is superior to people around him and acts in as if he owns the world. Arrogance is one that is so full of self- righteousness and is ignoring the rest of the world. Arrogance is where one cannot accept that he has flaws.

On the other hand, Wikipedia says that SELF-CONFIDENCE is
the socio-psychological conc ept of self-confidence relates to self-assuredness in one's personal judgment, ability, power, etc.
Self- confidence is believe in oneself's ability and knowing what one is doing. Self- confidence is humble. It is simply believing in oneself's judgment and feeling good about it. And in my humble opinion, to have this kind of believe in one's ability, one has to be really capable and efficient in handling matters...

Unfortunately, our social culture mislead a lot of minds, leading people to think that when one is successful, one must be painfully arrogant, unless that person please you in a way or so. It is almost like a stereotype that blankets people with self-confidence!!

When he/she is trying to correct one's blatant mistake, he/she will be accused of being arrogant, for pretending to know-it-all, while all he/she tries to do is to right the obvious wrong. If you make a mistake, have the guts to admit it. Don't be bitter when someone corrects you and you lash back by calling him/her arrogant.

Another common example... A person may have a lot of responsibilities and positions where he/she is allowed to serve others. At times, he/she may be too busy or too tired to entertain small matters like "Oh, my nail broke, can you come and help me fix it?" or "Let's sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars later!!". Give the person a break. He/she knows that he/she has responsibilities and is efficient enough to prioritise. So don't go around labelling him/her arrogant, just because he/she is not free to play "doll house" with you.

And the worst crime, JEALOUSY. I strongly believe that a person is given a position or a responsibilty because he/ she has the public's trust and is good at handling whatever matters. So if someone beats you to a position or an interview or a job, don't be bitter over it and call him/her arrogant. It is SELF- CONFIDENCE that he/she got there. Learn to lose with grace, which is another step to greater self-confidence where you know your talents and your limits.

The thin line separating ARROGANCE and SELF-CONFIDENCE is very thin. A little overboard on the self-confidence department might enable a promotion to arrogance. But however, not all with self- confidence are arrogant. Sometimes they are just trying to help.

And if you are labelling people with the ARROGANCE tag because you feel inadequate when you compare yourself to them, this is because you lack of SELF-CONFIDENCE and is jealous that they are doing better than you are!!

Disclaimer's Note: If you are really labelling people because of the reasons mentioned above, have the guts to admit it and don't label me arrogant, because all I am doing here is speaking my mind, and I know what I am talking about here.

nformation and definition from : Merriam Webster dictionary and Wikipedia.

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