Sunday, July 19, 2009

I Gotta Feeling

I gotta feeling
That tonight's gonna be a good night
(From Black Eyed Peas's I Gotta Feeling)
I am so addicted to this song these days!!

Exams are around the corner, and obviously we are all stressed. Tonight, me and my friends had an interesting discussion. It made me think for a while and be even sure of what I want.

People ask me why am I so uptight, so prim and proper. People ask me why I limit my life to mundane stuff of studying and cramming information and confine my space to that small study table, in front of the laptop.

Undeniably, such life may sound boring. At times, even I hate it. (Those are the time where I complain excessively about it) But at the end of the day, those are the choices I willingly made. To me, studying is not about getting A's or scoring that 4.0 CGPA. To me, studying is not about cramming all the information into my limited memory. It is about learning, and at times like these 2 weeks, it is about challenge. I set a target and I am determined to reach the target.

Have you experience the Eureka feeling when you learned something from flipping the textbooks?
Have you feel the exhilarating and liberating feeling when you finish reading a chapter within the deadline that you set for yourself?
Have you feel the on-top-of-the-mountain feeling when you solve a lot of math questions in one shot?

Do you enjoy the thrill and drama of exam weeks, where there are so much to read and you secretly wonder if you are going to make it?

Do you love the feeling where you feel good about the paper when you exit the exam hall?

Those are the stuff that I enjoy while studying. Those are the intrinsic factors that kept me going. Those are the things that tells me that I am capable of pulling a last minute trick, or understanding a chapter that may sound like alien language to certain people. Those are the things that are challenging to me. And certainly, performing up to my own standard is far more important than getting an A. Getting an A does not necessarily mean that I am good at it. It merely is an alphabet given by society. But performing up to my own set of standard shows that I did my very best and I have no regrets about it.

Thank you to the two fellows who brought this up and made me reevaluate my goals. You know who you are. The reason I complain is not because I hate my life. It is just a form of releasing the stress, and excitement, even when I chose to do those things.

So, tonight's gonna be a good night.
Because I will be feeding my maths revision with the drama of not knowing if I can finish revising or not.
No worries, I perfectly enjoy the seductive hum of my laptop.

PS : I fell down the stairs this morning, well, technically yesterday morning. The cleaner was mopping and I didn't know. Now I've got a swollen right ankle. What luck~~

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