Sunday, October 31, 2010

Fight Club - A Review

You want violence? Got it.

You want blood and gore? Sure!

You want hot steamy sex? Of course.


But what is Fight Club really is about?

Brad Pitt is forever hot.
And this one is full of muscle pumping action.

Beneath all the blockbuster essential element, this is one movie that is not making sense at all, but make perfect sense! Am I making sense? Perhaps I am too stressed.

Blood and gore. Your idea of stress relieve?

This is one shit movie that has major loopholes in it that requires quite a leap of faith to actually swallow them. Edward Norton is feeling so unexpressed in his life until he met Brad Pitt and they started the Fight Club together. On the way, he, or rather they, bang Helena Bonham Carter and catapult the whole world into crazy shit ass vandalism and violence. Until finally Edward Norton thinks that he is hallucinating thus tried to stop the world from going down. And he shot himself dead/alive, I don't know, and then watched the world burn.

Whoever dressed Brad Pitt should get shot in the face.
Are you colour-blind?
Or maybe that is the whole point of the funny costume since the human mind is creative.

However, the star-cast itself redeemed the movie. Being a David Fincher piece, I expected class and elegance from the filming, and he delivered (Put aside the loop holes differences, maybe the screenwriters suck) The action was pure meat pounding brain mashing gore bloody violence. And the chemistry between the actors are interesting to watch. Edward Norton portrayed the disturbed mind while Brad Pitt totally juxtaposition him. However, Helena Bonham Carter is a little off in this movie.

Watching her was kinda fun and eccentric.
By the way, she has nice tits.

Again, after watching the movie, it got me thinking. This whole concept sprung from the opposition to general commercialism and crazy brainwashing mass media. And the people who joined the Fight Club are under-represented unsatisfied people of the lower working class. They are just merely expressing themselves through violence and vandalism. And it did reminded me that the people on top can't possibly be where they are if it wasn't for the cleaners, or the security guards, or those whom the society deemed as "useless" and "poor" people.

A very intriguing movie with interesting concept. I think it has the potential to be greater and more developed. But the ending sucks. It is as if the director took us on a long ride and we are all expecting some big bang in the end, but suddenly, everything crashed down to a very simple theory that explains everything but at the same time suck the fun out of the suspense.


Ratings : 8.5/10. Not something you want to watch with your kids. And if you do watch this, don't take it too seriously cause it is really sending the wrong message.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Runaways - A Review

This is the frugging Runaways!


I was ecstatic when I knew they were making a movie about Joan Jett. the rock goddess.

But the movie was just okay. Like... so-so okay...

From the movie point of view, the plot development was rather slow. Yea we get all the explanation about how the band came about and how hard it was trying to make it in the men's world. Blah blah blah.


It wasn't until halfway through the movie that we actually get to see some rock and roll.


But I gotta give credits to the movie for depicting the original Runaways to such accuracy. I mean, no one really know for sure how accurate the whole thing was. But I was definitely amazed at the details like the way the original band dressed, down to Joan Jett's guitars, down to the fact that they were popping pills and having sex with each other. Yup, female hot sweaty lesbian sex.


And Kirsten Stewart ROCK SHIT in this movie. Seriously, what the heck is she doing in shit movies like Twilight? She so fugging kick ass as the bra-less potty-mouthed chic rocker. Here's to professionalism. She actually learned to smoke and all. Plus she kissed her co-star on screen. Dang. She is so fugging HOT I want to do her!


Dakota Fanning was suppose to be the highlight, playing Cherry Currie and all. But I gotta admit that she sort of faded into the background standing next to Kirsten Stewart. I get it that she is trying to shed the child star innocent cutesy image by trying to be a bad girl. But seriously, every time I look at her I think of the sweet 7 year old I saw in I Am Sam.



But dude, I can't believe the vulgarity allowed in this movie. Not your average family movie. It is almost surreal with all the F-word flying around like nobody's business. Not to mention the obvious bad habits like lots of alcohol, sex and drugs. Which is exactly why this movie feels almost surreal and true. Not to say all rockers do that but you get the idea.


From a movie point of view, not exactly a highlight. Hardly memorable. But it is about fugging JOAN JETT!!

Ratings: 5.5/10

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Clash of the Titans : A Review

I can't really remember the story of the game and if this thing really follows the game 'cause I only watched my brother playing this game long long time ago.

But reviewing it as a movie, actually I quite enjoy this.


Sam Worthington plays a demigod, son of Zeus who wants to kill Hades and saves the City of Argos and her princess from the wrath of the Kraken by going on a quest to find witches, go to Hell, kill Medusa, etc.


The action was pretty engaging. Love the giant scorpion fight! And the fight against Medusa. Although it was pretty much predictable but the stunts were great. Of course there are a lot of CGIs and blue screen stunts, but the whole thing was pretty much a visual feast so I can actually ignore the facts.


However, the plot was a little slow in development in the beginning and it ends too fast. We were being told on and on how Perseus refused to accept his demigod status and then on and on about his journey from a fisherman to a city hero. And when it comes to the fight that really matters, I expect some huge scene with the Kraken but damn, he reduced the creature into stones within seconds.



Sam Worthington sort of suck in this movie. Acting was... er... not amazing. But I LOVE Lian Neeson and Ralph Fiennes playing Zeus and Hades.

And that Bond girl, Gemma Artenton, was pretty impressive.


Ratings : 7.5/10. Good one to watch. Not exactly classic yet.

The Expendables : A Review

The action movie of the year. Supposedly.

Comprising action stars of the yesteryears and today's rising stars, this one was suppose to be the one that blow everything else out of the water.


It didn't.

This movie has Jason Statham. Nope, he didn't take off his shirt.


This movie has Slyvester Stallone. Nope, he is no Rambo and still bleeds.


This movie has Jet Li. Nope, not much kungfu around but he got his chinese ass kicked around by the white guys every little chance he got.

This movie has Bruce Willis. Nope, no dead people. And he was in the movie for like... 10 minutes.

This movie has Arnold Schzeidontknowhowtospell. Nope, he is human. And he was also in the movie for 10 minutes.

The only person I actually enjoy watching is Mickey Rourke. He comes in, deliver his lines perfectly, and leaves. Perfect. And he wasn't even holding a goddamn gun.



Err... That's almost about the highlights of the movie. Storyline? Just mash up all the damsel in distress and muscle man hero comes to rescue plot and then dump it into this whole mash pot of action stars. Yea, that's really about it.

Ratings : 5/10. I don't even remember watching this movie 2 hours after watching it.

A Team : A Review

A movie packed full of testosterone.


And very sophisticated fake action.

Yes.

Sophisticated fake action.

Didn't watch the original. Didn't know if the action scenes are the same but upgraded to suit modern times or totally new. But seriously, I am quite sure the screen writers didn't know shit about physics. And the director and choreographers went along with them.


Is it even possible for navigate through the air in a tank by firing stuff?

And seriously, Newton's Third Law is totally omitted when the damn tank hit the water. With so much force and so much height, they should disintegrate the moment they brush through the atmosphere. And dropping from such height, they should be hitting the water like hitting a surface harder than concrete!

And they survived.

With big ass guns and big ass egos.


The stunt choreography wasn't bad at all, comparing the scale of what is done here. A little too perfect so to say.

And of course, watching a movie like this, we get to see the bad boys. Bradley Cooper has a body so hot it can melt the Arctic.


And Liam Neeson is just, naughty!


Ratings : 5/10. Nothing to shout about.

The Crazies : A Review

So...

The government engineered some virus and intended to send the prototype for storage but the plane crashed and now it has became a global pandemic which is transmitted through water.


The little town where Timothy Olyphant played the Sheriff was infected and the whole town was exterminated by nuclear weapon.


So guess what?

The Crazies is the classic version of 28 Days Later, and this remake sort of sucks.

Okay, there were sufficient horror, sufficient blood, sufficient scares, etc. But everything is so fake. The blood is so fake, the horror is almost like Final Destination except the main characters don't die, and the scares are all jump scares. You will have the silence, the dark, the creepy music telling the audiences to brace for a jump scare. So when the jump actually comes, I had to pretend to be scared. Sucks.


And the four survivors which then came down to only two, seemed too calm for a disaster like this. Really. They even had time to go back to their old house to pack up and fix an old car for the road only to be almost killed by two infected Crazies.


Everything is so cliche I fight to not to sleep through the movie.


Ratings : 4/10.
Mundane.

Salt : A Review

Salt was very much awaited since its promotional trailer.


But the ending is totally WHAT THE FUG?

Lemme get this straight, Salt is suppose to be an American spy that turns out to be a Russian spy and is ordered to kill the Russian president, then saves the American president and killed a Russian spy acting as an American spy and then be arrested for attempting to assassinate the American president but then is released by an American spy?


What?

The plot is so confusing and so full of plot holes I just stop trying to make sense of it. The cast is the only thing that holds the movie together. Angelina Jolie is as astounding as usual, with her acts and all. Plus, she is just one sexy hot face to look at. Liev Schreiber also delivered a pretty strong and convincing act.


The stunts... Well, the stuff you see on the trailer is practically ALL the stunts in the whole movie. Running around with no parkour involved is not considered "stunts". But I thought jumping off trailers and trucks was pretty cool. Wished it was filmed ala Bourne. Would make the whole thing better.


The editing was quite okay, with appropriate slow motions and stuff. But seriously, Salt is trying to be the female Bourne with some twisted storyline but the whole thing turned out to be pretty predictable and thus, failed.

Ratings : 5/10

And blonde makes Angelina Jolie dumb.

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