This is one movie with so much tits and blood you forgot about the movie in the first 30 seconds.
Danny Trejo plays an ex-Federale named Machete that revenges against Robert de Niro and Steven Seagal over I don't know what. Then a lot of hot females the like of Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan taking off their shirts and shaking their tits at the audiences. Then director Robert Rodriguez decides that it is time for someone to die and splashed a whole lot of red corn syrup all over the screen with rubbery looking intestines flying all over the place. Before you know it, everyone kisses the fugly guy named Machete and everything ends in a bloodbath.
Seriously, the story DOES NOT make sense. So does Kill Bill. Or Grindhouse. Is Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino trying to outdo each other in making senseless B-grade movie that still look awesome at some point?
This movie has practically no plot. And it surprises the audience with the most unexpected thing. Like you didn't expect to see Jessica Alba's tits in the scene right after a blood fight. Or Lindsay Lohan's tits right after a break-in. I mean, you break in to steal something right? Who in the right mind would expect macho Machete to break in, make out with Lindsay Lohan, then steal things? Get what I mean?
This being a Robert Rodriguez production, everything IS expected to look B-grade. And he didn't bother to cover that fact. It is like slamming it against our face! Look at all the blood and gore and brains and intestines flying around! And all the crazy ways to kill people. Robert Rodriguez should direct Final Destination 7 'cause he is so darn creative in brutally murdering extras off the set!
I only really really like Michelle Rodriguez in the last few scenes of the movie.
She is the only girl who didn't show off her tits and she is the only girl holding big ass guns shooting people up!
She so deserves more screen time than Jessica Alba and Lindsay Lohan is practically, useless?
Yes, a visual feast of sex and violence for MOST brainless male humour. Not really of substance and I don't really see the signature tribute to any pop-culture. None the less, I still enjoy the style of Robert Rodriguez.
Ratings : 6.0/10