Contradiction?

After many comments, opinions, and thoughtful conversations and reply posts, I did a little reflecting myself.

(Thank you so much for the public and private comments!!)

I will have to say that in some ways, I am contradicting myself on the issue of individualism. I do agree that I advocate for individualism to a certain extent of my life. I believe in being oneself without compromising our true selves. Our values and ethics are set by no one but ourselves. It is unfair to judge one simply because he/she live with a different set of values from ourselves. But do not get me wrong, I am NOT AGAINST changes at all. I agree with changes that are good of us should be made. I myself am changing at this very moment as we speak. Changes are unavoidable. Hell, it is the foundation of evolution from unicellular species to our major biodiversity now. I do believe in changing for the better!!

On the other hand, as much as we all want to be, we are still individuals who are governed by the social norm. I mean, we don't run around naked in the public right? We still abide to something we call the law. Hhmm... Does that make me a hyprocrite for so advocating for individualism, yet I follow the general rules? There is a theory in social psychology that says that one has no choice but to be an individual when he/she is not willing to compromise him/herself to fit in the crowd. Am I one of those people? I am contradicting myself.

I only disagree with changes where one has to compromise oneself into doing things that he/she may not like or agree, just because everyone is doing it. I admit that I, at times, whether consciously or unconsciously, seek approval of my parents and my peers. I used to be one loud-mouth opinionated person who speaks her mind, often too much. But now I've learnt the lesson of appreciating silence and listen to others. This I believe is the change that is good for me. Thus, I change to fit in. (Yea, guilty as charged.. LOL...) But focusing on other bigger issues here, should one change to gossiping, loitering, smoking, casual sex and so on, just because others are doing it? I am not entirely against the above mentioned actions, if doing all those make one feels good about him/herself, by all means, go ahead. You are just being you!!

In a nutshell, I am an immature soul who has so much to learn from the people around me. You see, most of my peers have graduate from this stigma of individualism to either "Just Follow Rule" followers or really strong opinionated libertine. Yet, I am still struggling to find my identity and purpose. My opinions are really what I see from my point of view. A friend once told me that I often focus on the details that I failed to look at the big picture. Maybe that is why I am often failing in this social department. Maybe he is right. Maybe I do think too much and that I am a hypocrite, because what I want to be is not exactly some thing that can be normally done in this community. Maybe I am a blatant contradiction of myself...