I Guess This Is It

I stepped into University full of hope and aspiration, with the urge to learn and to explore what is beyond my imagination. I entered University to discover who I am and what I can be.
Don't have to remind me... I am being naive... I know

Some where along the path, my spirit dampen, my hopes crushed, my aspiration disappeared, my courage diminished, my ambition shrunk. I think this is it.

After so many tries and so much effort, I still foolishly believe that perseverance is the key to enlightenment. Perhaps it is. And I am just not patient enough or worthy enough for it. It is extremely heart breaking to see many sleepless nights of effort, many battles fought with blood, sweat and tears, all reduced to nothing but smoke and dust.

I am starting to doubt myself. I am no longer sure of my abilities anymore. That is the consequences of letting go of my pride and ego perhaps? Am I even in the right course, doing the right field of studies?

Alas... I shall take inspiration from my favourite poem "IF" by Rudyard Kipling.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

I must not doubt myself even everyone doubts me. I must not live on clouds nor stay too firmly on the ground. I must rediscover the passion of taking risk within me and explore the possibilities everywhere. I must try to love my friends and enemies alike.

God, please give me the strength to finish what I started
and to accept the painful fact that such is the limit of my capabilities
and not mourn over what I cannot change.
Amen.

15Malaysia

I have been MIA for 3 days...
Nothing much blog- worthy on my part...

I bet no one wants to read about how I shop, cause it is a little frustrating to me because of various size, colour, style, price factors.
And I am a little sick of putting up stuff I cooked cause I don't really have the heart for experimenting stuff these days...

Anyway, since it is National Day, though I don't feel particularly patriotic this year, I checked out the 15Malaysia films under recommendations from Sze Wei.
My favourite so far is House and Chocolate. I am really anticipating Meter and Slovak Sling.

Check out http://15malaysia.com/films/.

I gurantee you will not be disappointed.

These short films may not be clear to you at first. But after a few minutes of watching the films, you will sort of get the hidden message if you pay enough attention to the details. These films are quite unorthodox and certainly revolves around the many issues face by this community, not just another painted picture of all races living in perfect harmony.

Drop a comment on which film is your favourite ya?
I really think it is interesting to discuss the films
from various point of views!!

Rain

I was just chatting with my long lost friend ( we reacquainted through the wonders of Facebook) and I just realised one thing.

How much I love the rain.

No, not the Korean singer la...
Just rain,
water that falls from the sky.

When I reached Kampar, I fell in love with the rain.
When I am upset, I stand in the rain, letting it cleanse me of all my problems
When I was heart broken, I cried countless times under the rain.
When I am happy, I seek the rain's company by dancing in the rain.
When I am lonely, I sit in the rain, listening to its murmurs.
When I am restless, I let the rain calm me with its rhythm.
When I am crying, I let the rain carry my tears away.
When I am joyful, I sing with the rain and feel its relief.
When I am grateful, I touch the rain and let it touch my soul.
When I am cold, I walk in the rain to let it numb me.
When I am confused, I cycle slowly in the rain and watch over the lake.
When I am lost, I listen to the rain with my heart and let it guide me home.

When it is raining,
almost everyone will blame and curse and complain about the rain.

When it is raining,
I smile at the smell of rain,
knowing the comfort it brings me.

Assam. TomYam. Friends. Love.

This week is my lucky week.
Well, let's just ignore the minor misfortune of many other things, this week I am truly blessed.

Yesterday, Kumutha made us Assam Fish for dinner!! And it is delicious!! Not really spicy. Just the right amount of hotness and sourness and one delicious dinner. But I screwed up the side dish... Hahaha...

Assam Fish!!

Stir Fried Wintermelon with Carrot

Then today, we went to Lucky Station for dinner after Chinese Class. Those who are present are Wee Leng, Zarry, Kumutha, Nicole, Vee, Hon Yeun and me!! I had the most delicious TomYam soup in the whole of Kampar! But I liked it more with beehoon than spaghetti.

And here are some photos of dishes that I've cooked previously. I was so busy with a lot of things until all these were abandoned in my phone.

Geizhi Chicken Porridge

Tumeric Fried Fish

Dragon Egg
(Actually, it is egg fried with kunyit...)

Lesson of the day
Great food + Great friends + Great conversation = PERFECT DAY

This Is The Day

Thursday...

In less than 12 hours, I will be handling up my final assignment for this entire semester!!

NO NEED TO SEE MATHS ANYMORE!!

Yea, Statistic assignment
is the royal pain in the arse~~

At 6.30pm, in Chinese class, I will be presenting my final presentation for this entire semester!!

NO NEED TO STUDY CHINESE LITERATURE ANYMORE!!

Well, this one is not really pain in the arse,
just that it is hard to do...

After this blessed day, I will go back to IPOH for the Merdeka weekend and finally go shopping with my aunt after so many postponement...

Hallelujah, the semester is almost over!!
I am looking forward to Finals and pray that I survive it in one piece!!

Meanwhile, gonna miss reading daily updates from one blog that I've religiously followed since the beginning of my blogging days...

Insanely Amazing

This one made my night!!

Hans Zimmer is already one kickass composer.
And this guitarist is just plain!! WOW!!
He blew my mind off!!

It is a little out of timing because the audio and the video was recorded separately. Nonetheless, one kickass playing and shredding!! LOVE IT!!

Change The World

He really change my world!!

I am in love with him!!

Two Sides Of A Coin

Today, well, technically, yesterday, I am so HAPPY and HYPER the whole day!!

I don't know why and I don't really care to find out why. I think this time is really a time that I am really happy with myself since the past... what... 6 months? Maybe I've come to realise and accept that there are two sides to a coin. I can view life happily and take everything as a happy incidents, instead of focusing on the negative little things and make everyone miserable.

I should have done my cover long long time ago... It is so therapeutic.

Thank you for all your comments about my cover!!
It is really encouraging, though I personally think there are space for improvement.
Well, take note that I am not exactly a trained singer or a skilled guitarist.
But I am glad I did the cover!!

"Smart People"

"Smart people" walk amongst us, everyday, every minute, every waking second.

Where got people so smart, put wet clothes on top of people's dry clothes on the laundry line?

Where got people so smart, put a shirt where the colours came off on top of other people's clothes?
Some more it has to be on top of MY FAVOURITE SHIRT!!!

Now I am spending the next few hours trying to get HER brown colour drips off my FAVOURITE LIGHT BLUE shirt.


"Smart". People. Walk. Amongst. Us.
Every. Day. Every. Minute. Every. Second.

FML

Almost Lover - A Cover

YAY!!!

This is my first cover ever!!
I know it is kind of crappy... Cause it is kind of a impulsive cover. But I am still learning and improving!!
Help me improve by commenting ok?

Biggest thanks to Ben for introducing me to this amazing song and the encouragement to improve on my guitar skills!! Now I am waiting for YOUR cover~~
Thanks to YY and Vee and Lin Yun and Andrew for encouraging me to do my own cover.
Thanks to Amanda and FKY for inspiring me to learn guitar in the first place.

Hahaha... I sound like I am making a Grammy speech here...
I am just ecstatic that I have just posted my first cover, no matter how crappy it may sound like...

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never let forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

偶然

徐志摩之偶然

我是天空里的一片云，
偶尔投影在你的波心-
你不必惊异，
更无须欢喜-
在转瞬间消灭了踪影。

你我相逢在黑夜的海上，
你有你的，我有我的，方向；
你记得也好，
最好你忘掉，
在这交会时互放的光亮！

今天这堂华语课，我真的用心去上。
我明白徐志摩讲的是什么。
我不是什么情圣，不是什么爱人。只是一个在你生活中，出现于错的空间，错的时间的人。
你也许不再读，也许开始恨我，也许开始觉得我无聊。
如果我们相逢于不同的时间，不同的空间，结果可能也会不同。。。

Why Do I Often Get Misunderstood?

I am not angry...
I am just tired because I slept for only 4 hours last night.

I am not sad...
I am just not feeling well from the headache and the nausea.

I am not pissed...
I am just feeling very hungry because I didn't eat breakfast.

I am not impatient...
I am just not really in the mood and I don't want to say anything that I may regret.

I am not mad...
I am just feeling very confused because I find that I am my own contradiction.

I am not faking my happiness...
I am just trying not focus on upsetting matters that I cannot change or control.

I am explaining myself because I care about you.
And since people often misunderstand me, even get angry at me for the things I didn't do, I find that it is very tiring to explain myself over and over again.

Because no matter what I say,

you will still think that I am lying or faking it.

Contradiction?

After many comments, opinions, and thoughtful conversations and reply posts, I did a little reflecting myself.

(Thank you so much for the public and private comments!!)

I will have to say that in some ways, I am contradicting myself on the issue of individualism. I do agree that I advocate for individualism to a certain extent of my life. I believe in being oneself without compromising our true selves. Our values and ethics are set by no one but ourselves. It is unfair to judge one simply because he/she live with a different set of values from ourselves. But do not get me wrong, I am NOT AGAINST changes at all. I agree with changes that are good of us should be made. I myself am changing at this very moment as we speak. Changes are unavoidable. Hell, it is the foundation of evolution from unicellular species to our major biodiversity now. I do believe in changing for the better!!

On the other hand, as much as we all want to be, we are still individuals who are governed by the social norm. I mean, we don't run around naked in the public right? We still abide to something we call the law. Hhmm... Does that make me a hyprocrite for so advocating for individualism, yet I follow the general rules? There is a theory in social psychology that says that one has no choice but to be an individual when he/she is not willing to compromise him/herself to fit in the crowd. Am I one of those people? I am contradicting myself.

I only disagree with changes where one has to compromise oneself into doing things that he/she may not like or agree, just because everyone is doing it. I admit that I, at times, whether consciously or unconsciously, seek approval of my parents and my peers. I used to be one loud-mouth opinionated person who speaks her mind, often too much. But now I've learnt the lesson of appreciating silence and listen to others. This I believe is the change that is good for me. Thus, I change to fit in. (Yea, guilty as charged.. LOL...) But focusing on other bigger issues here, should one change to gossiping, loitering, smoking, casual sex and so on, just because others are doing it? I am not entirely against the above mentioned actions, if doing all those make one feels good about him/herself, by all means, go ahead. You are just being you!!

In a nutshell, I am an immature soul who has so much to learn from the people around me. You see, most of my peers have graduate from this stigma of individualism to either "Just Follow Rule" followers or really strong opinionated libertine. Yet, I am still struggling to find my identity and purpose. My opinions are really what I see from my point of view. A friend once told me that I often focus on the details that I failed to look at the big picture. Maybe that is why I am often failing in this social department. Maybe he is right. Maybe I do think too much and that I am a hypocrite, because what I want to be is not exactly some thing that can be normally done in this community. Maybe I am a blatant contradiction of myself...

Food For Thought : Fit Into The Crowd

An old friend of mine asked my opinion for his total makeover. I was very surprised by his sudden urge to do a total makeover because for all the years that I've known him, he is one perfectly fine guy who is laid back and well-liked among friends. We chatted and I found out that he is doing this to woo a girl and also to make himself more popular among his friends.

For a moment, I totally disagree with what he wants to do. In my humble opinion, why compromise yourself to make others like you? Even if they do like you, and even if the special someone do fall for you, is it really you that is being loved? Are you sure they can accept you for your good and your flaws, not just the way you dress or act?

But on second thought, aren't we all acting in the eyes of the world? I knew of a girl who was so strong, always insisted on never explaining herself, and held so true to her individualism. I had tremendous amount of respect for her stand to be herself. But now, even she crumbled under peer pressure and succumbed herself to fit in the crowd. It really makes me wonder...

Is it really necessary to change who you are to fit in the crowd?

We are all sane people who play our roles in the society. We are not crazy people who are out of the society's norm. I agree that changing for the better is inevitable. If adopting certain attitude or cultivating certain habits are productive and beneficial to life, then why not? But changing to "fit into the crowd"? Does that mean that I have to start wearing pink because the whole clique likes to wear pink? Does that mean that I have to start cursing if the whole gang is foul-mouthed? Does that mean that I have to give up my whole collection, because my significant other doesn't like it? Does that mean that I should have sex too because everyone is doing it?

Should we compromise ourselves to make others happy, even if it means being miserable ourselves?

I have to admit that I am not a person that is good at pretending. I don't know how to hide my sad or angry face. I don't know how to still smile and crack silly jokes when my heart is aching, though I am still working on that department. Sometimes, I think it is quite obvious to know how I feel about someone or something. I do what I like, I mean what I say, I eat what I want. I am just simple logic, even common sense may not be needed to figure me out. I believe that people will accept me for simply being me, with no mask, no hide, no fake expression or sweeten tactful words.

I believe in "What you see is what you get."

Does that mean that I have to change into the complex beings all around me? Does that mean that I have to start hiding my feelings so that I will no longer be labelled as "emo" or "emotional"? Does that mean that I should give up myself so that I can be part of the community?

Isn't it boring when everyone in the community have the same set of value, same set of interests, same set of everything?
Or am I just being too strong an individual?

And so far, the most blatant and nonsensical thing that I've heard about me is that some people are jealous of my individualism so they have no choice but to hate me.

Does it make any sense to you?

I believe that everyone has the right to be an individual. Everyone can be an individual. Why do you want to be like everyone else when it is so much more attractive to Just Be You? Why do you want to be like everyone else when you are a unique individual in your own right?

And please don't hate me because you chose not to be an individual.

PS: The above are purely my opinion. The anecdotes above are true incidents that made me think. I sincerely apologize if I have offended anyone with my strong words. Like I said before, I usually just say what I mean. I think this is an issue that cross our minds at least once. Readers, opinions wanted!!

Push - A Review

I have always wanted to watch this movie ever since I watched the trailer some time ago. Anyway, I finally downloaded the movie and watched it. This is one seriously good suspense thriller!


The movie is about people with special psychic abilities all over the world, some working for the government, some being held hostage and used as lab rats, some lives in the world being ruthlessly hunted by the Division. Nick (Chris Evans) saw his father being murdered by Division Agent Carver (Djimon Hounsou). Fast forward to present, grown up Nick met Cassie (Dakota Fanning) and they were both after Kira (Camille Belle), an escaped prisoner with some drug from the Division Lab. After a series of cat and dog chase and endless mastermind, well, couldn't reveal the plot too much without giving away the suspense. Anyway, happy and surprising ending!!


I love the plot. It is so nicely arranged and the whole suspense in it. This movie keeps me wanting to know what will happen next. And the element of surprise is definitely very interesting! The effects of the movie is not bad. It is rather realistic but cool at the same time. I love Dakota Fanning in this movie. She played a 13 year old girl but as usual, she played it with such maturity and it turns out to be really good!


The cinematography and camera angle were wonderful too. It provides a realistic but sophisticated feel to the movie at the same time. I am mostly too kept up with the movie to actually look for holes or parody because it is like blow-by-blow action all the time. Indeed, a very exciting movie.


Ratings : 8/10. I have exams this Friday and yet I do not regret spending 2 hours watching this movie.

I Wanna I Wanna I Wanna

I want Monday to faster come so that I can finish signing all my PTPTN documents.
~Yikes, DSA is so over-crowded~~

I want Wednesday to faster come so that I can finish Nutrition Assignment Oral Presentation and be done with that blessed thing...

I want Thursday to faster come so that I can finish PTPTN application and lessen the amount of paper in my room.
~~I still don't get it... Why the government want to promote Green Living by initiating paperless online E-Application but require us, students, to spend so much paper and money printing out and photocopying all the documents.
Isn't our government the biggest advocate for hypocrisy?

I want Friday to faster come so that I can take my Structural Biochemistry Test 2 and be done with it...

I want Saturday to faster come so that I can go home and go SHOPPING with my aunt...
~Actually I want to watch GI: Joe very much... But no one is watching with me...

I actually don't want Sunday to come so fast... Because that means Finals is one week nearer...

PS : Totally nonsensical, incoherent, gibberish post...

This is one of those impulsive posts influence by songs...
I am so addicted to All-American-Rejects' "I Wanna"!!

Nikon-S60 Face Detection mode‏

I received this very creative advertisement via email. It kinda cheered me up this morning cause the advert technique is so creative and quirky!!

Introducing Nikon-S60 Face Detection mode‏~~

Taaaa- Daaaahhhh
I strongly suggest you guys click on the pictures individually to look at the details...

Sexy~~
But are you sure they are the only ones in the picture?

Hide and seek?
Nice camouflage...

If this turn out in my pictures~~
**shudder**

累了，就放下吧。。。

有时，坚持不一定是好事。。。

有时，执著不一定是好事。。。

有时，固执不一定是好事。。。

累了，

就把它放下吧。。。

Punk Tango

I don't know why, all of a sudden, I am so into watching dance stuff...

Found this very creative and attitude piece on YouTube... I absolutely love the choreography and the girl's dress... Great movement and coordination between the couple!!

Enjoy~~



I must join UTAR Ballroom Dance training next semester!!

Half Full Now

I have a Structural Biochemistry Lab Test at 5.30pm today.
Didn't study much... Was really busy with something else...
So, yea, I am freaking out!!!

I told a friend of mine that I am so slacking from studies. But she merely said that this is a good thing, because I am learning to take life less seriously.

Maybe she is right...

Lately, Ben's post about humour made me think of the world and how pretentious people can be. It is totally cliche to say that I understand but I really do understand, because I live in a world where most of the things I do, I subconsciously want people around me to approve of it.

Yea,
I laughed along for no reasons,
I agree at times for the sake of agreeing.

But on second thoughts, why don't just laugh along for no reason and give my face muscles a little exercise? Why want to focus on how pretentious people are when I can just accept them without question?

My life is like a cup.
I used to see everything half empty, where everything is not good enough for me.

Now I am learning to see everything half full,
because that is so much more cheerful than half empty.

Big thanks to YY and Andrew for spending hours talking to me. and trying to cheer me up.

I know you guys try very hard, even at times when I am acting like a total bitch

Big loves to Wee Leng, for being the patient roommate and loukong for taking all the crap that I throw at you.

Thanks to Ben and Julian for all the thought provoking dialogs.
You guys really made me sit up and think.

Also thanks to the two person who made me who I am today.

I will NEVER forget what the two of you did because without the two of you, I will never learn this big lesson in life.

I Wish Upon A Star

I so wish that I can dance with such grace and poise!!


This is a soulful piece from Jeanine and Jason of "So You Think You Can Dance?" dance reality show. They move with such passion and fluidity. I love the girl's dress. It made her look absolutely ethereal!! And the perfect choreograph and perfect coordination!! Great dancers!!


This is an exhibition piece by Zhang and Zhang, China's National Pair Figure Skaters. The Korean commentators absolutely spoil the piece. Nonetheless, I love the lifts and turns by both the skaters. And there Spread Eagle technique is so creative and perfect!! They nearly miss an axel (a jumping technique) but still, they pulled it off. Wonderful!!

I miss the days where I can actually dance.~~
Time to keep in shape and practice a little?

Pokerface

Found this piece on YouTube...

Absolutely love it!! This is so much better than the original!!



I so want to learn this!!

PS : I've given up on trying to buy an electric guitar. I didn't get a full loan from PTPTN. I am broke... So I guess I'll just stick with playing acoustic and unplugged versions of songs...

Meteor Rain...

I want to watch it while lying on the field
Putting my head on his chest
Hearing each thump of his slow heart beat
Feeling safe in his arms
When the meteor showers over us
I want to close my eyes
And make wishes
And have faith that they will come true

But since I don't have a "him"...
So I'm going to sleep now...

**CHEERS**

PS : Despite falling hard, I still have dreams. Life is not life without dreams. Maybe miracles will happen.



But today is not the day.

Do It For Love

I lost it moments ago.

Now I think I found my way back.

It shouldn't be about test scores or how others are doing better than me.

This is about me LEARNING all I can.

Getting high scores doesn't mean a complete education.
Many input doesn't mean equal amount of output.

I need to reevaluate my goals in life and what I want to do with my time.
Everyone is given 24 hours. I just decided to spend mine productively by doing things I like.

Billy Joel once said,
"Don't do it for security or status, money, or, for crying out loud, don't do it for somebody else. Do it for love.
Because if you love what you do, you'll always do what you love."

This quote is on my wall, right in front of my study table.
I just forgot to look at it...

What Happen?

Is it that the world is unfair?

Or simply that I am not doing enough?

After weeks and weeks of quizzes, exams, assignments and all, I have to admit that I am losing stamina.

Degree programme is a long distance marathon, unlike the Foundation style of sprint.

I sit for exams until the feeling of anxiety is no longer there.
I rush for deadlines until I don't really care if I hand it up or not.
I study for quizzes until I don't know what to feel.

I am disappointed with myself.

I spent days and nights studying and trying to have fun at the same time. I used to enjoy studying science so much because it really challenges me mentally and creatively. But these few weeks, I have ceased to ponder on why, I have stopped asking questions, I have lost my interest in knowing science itself.

And the most discouraging thing is that my test scores aren't that good, even when compared to the class average. Even spending hours doing my reports and assignments result in test scores that are less than expected. Am I doing it wrongly? Am I studying not smart enough? Or I am just studying hard?

I miss the eureka feeling when I finally understand something.
I miss the fun of enlightenment about science and all the things that I study.
I miss the moment of mental orgasm when I achieve my targets.

All of a sudden,
my brain is so tired,
my heart doesn't want to struggle anymore,
my soul is diminishing in spirit.
Reading motivational books or inspiring quotes no longer work.
I just feel like throwing my life out the window.

How come some people had it so easy?

What happened to me?

Confession of a Shopaholic - A Review

I was expecting something with the likes of Devil Wears Prada from this movie. The opening of the movie seems promising. But, alas, this is even more predictable than 17 Again... (No, I didn't read the book.)


The movie opened with Rebecca Bloomwood confessing to the world about the wonders of shopping. Then she lost her job and also failed to land herself on Allette Fashion magazine. With no choice at all, she took a job at a financial magazine only to see that her boss was the man who just offered her 20 bucks to buy a "desperately important scarf". With her happy-go-lucky attitude and of course some quirky writing, she managed to be famous as the "Girl with the Green Scarf", advising people on managing money, while her own shopping debts were up to her eye balls. Alas, her ploy was exposed on national TV, she got dumped by her boss who happened to be a potential romantic partner, and she was still addicted to shopping. However, she did managed to clean up her act, quit her addiction and viola... Happily Ever After...


Can anything get more predictable than that? The plot was full of holes and the cinematography was nothing to be proud of. The lines are not memorable at all. And the people who dress the cast is COLOUR BLIND. The only thing that is memorable is the male lead played by Hugh Dancy. His smexy British accent and his all gentleman look is all that is worth spending my two hours for on this movie. Even Isla Fisher did poorly. I liked her more in the film Definitely, Maybe; but definitely not this one.

Seriously mis- match colours!! Blue goes with Purple and Yellow doesnt mean Yellow goes with Purple! And that absolutely hideous shawl that looks rather like my floor mat!!

Who in the sane mind will dress like a Lala Mui in New York?
Left : She looks like a dumpling on top and a poodle with red leg at the bottom.
Center : Dalmation coat with pink super-flair dress? Please~~~
Right : The coat wasn't that bad, but the pink top and the coat is disastrous.

Ratings : 6/10. It would be a 5/10 if it is not for Hugh Dancy's smexy performance.

17 Again - A Review

The synopsis and summary of this movie came across as a tested- and -true, cliche, typical Hollywood chic flick that is just another Disney-like scam to earn the highest grossing box office at the theaters. With the 13 Going On 30-like plot, and Zac Efron onboard, what can go wrong?


But after watching the movies, I'll have to say that this one is better than the rest!!

This movie is about Mike O'Donnell, a high school basketball star with a bright future walked away from college and everything else to start a family with his pregnant girlfriend. Years later, he was getting divorced from his high school sweetheart, Scarlett, with a beer belly, and no job. He met an old janitor and suddenly he got transformed into 17 years old again. He attended high school again, with his best friend pretending to be his father. Through this experience, he got to know how misunderstood his two children were and how much he neglected his family all those years. After lots of twist and turns, he saved his marriage, helped his kids and then... Happily ever after...


The plot is kind of predictable. The lines are predictable. Hell, everything is predictable. EXCEPT... The stuff Zac Efron said about premarital sex and virginity... I totally melted in front of my laptop... And also Ned and the principal suddenly speaking Lord of The Rings Elf Speak... Of course, the Zac Efron got down the sports car acting all cool and sexy... Also, Zac Efron tonguing his son's mother, aka his wife... (Er... complicated...)... There is also Zac Efron kicking the high school bully's ass with WORDS... The most memorable one... Zac Efron reading a letter to his wife with his o-so-teary-eyes...


Okay... Most of my friends... Correction... ALL of my friends know that I never like Zac Efron. And I absolutely think that High School Musical is retarded (No offense guys...) But this movie is such a breakthrough for Zac. He is no longer the musical guy but this movie really shows that he has stepped up his game into a real ACTING movie.


The humour is fun... Lots of memorable scenes... Zac Efron is definitely improving as an actor... The chemistry between the actors are great... I love this movie!!


Ratings : 8/10. So worth watching!!

White Clouds

Today, I was walking from the cafeteria to class.
Then a sight beheld me.




Notice that very beautiful ray of light coming out from the clouds?
It is almost as if Heaven is reaching out to the lake!!
(Sorry la... Bad quality... Phone camera mar...)


Today, I learned to slow down when I am walking.

Today, I learned to look at the small little things around me and learn to appreciate it.




Today, I learned to breathe in the smell near the Refuse Chamber near the cafeteria when the wind blew in my face.
Hey, who says life is a bed of sweet smelling roses?

Vertical Ballerina

Pole Dancing...

The first images that come to mind are images of leather- clad, scantily dressed girls doing very suggestive and provocative moves while swinging on a pole...

I thought so too... Until I saw this...



This is a piece by the Vertical Ballerina Tara Karina. The beautiful music is Primavera by Ludovico Einaudi. Currently I am so addicted to his composition. Check them out at YouTube. I never knew that pole dancing can be this graceful!! Makes me feel like dancing too!!

Never Alone

Found this powerful piece. I was moved to tears. It felt as though the song was written for me... Really a "Pick Me Up" song after a hard day's work...

May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
May you always have plenty
The glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
As every year passes
They mean more than gold
May you win and stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone

Chorus: Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

I have to be honest
As much as I wanted
I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

Chorus

My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone

So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone

How Does It Feel?

I'm out of that cocoon of darkness. I am not that stubborn anymore.
I am completely over that issue now.

I guess everyone, at some point of our lives, are betrayed by someone, whether by purpose or by accident. A close friend whom you called a best friend stabbing you; A person whom you share secrets with bad mouthed you; A friend whom you gave 100% to only to be stabbed; People who say that they are your friends abandon you when you need them the most; People you care so much misunderstood you because they just don't know you that well; Many other circumstances break our hearts. That feeling of being betrayal is definitely not easy to swallow, especially if you have to see that person everyday or work closely with that person.

No doubt, life is not a bed of roses. We all have our ups and downs. And once in a while, God will place some obstacles in our path, to make us a better person.

A friend told me, "Why don't we just keep everyone at arm's length, don't trust anyone but ourselves. That way, we won't get hurt."

But another friend told me, "What is life if you don't let yourself fall and pick yourself up again?"

Is it worth it to lock our hearts up, keep the key away from sight and live our lives trusting no one? Is it worth it to never let anyone get into our hearts so that we don't get hurt? What is life then?

On the other hand, is it worth the pain? How many times can we pick ourselves up after being betrayed? How many times do we have to get hurt just because we let out hearts venture? Won't life be filled with sorrow and heart breaks then?

Nic K told me,
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain."

And I believe her.

World, I'd rather take my chances, allowing myself to take the risk of being hurt and betrayed all over again. At least I live through the feeling and learn to be a stronger person.

One thing I've learned from this entire affair is that not many friends can last forever. We might have known each other all our lives. But one little white lie, one little whisper, can ruin even the strongest foundation of friendships. So, enjoy the company of good friends when we are still friends. If our hearts are no longer chained, then cherish the moments we shared, because my life can never be the same without your presence in it, no matter how brief it was.

PS : Lately, I blogged about stuff that even I don't understand why I blog.

This piece is dedicated to a dear friend of mine who experienced almost the same situation as I did. Friend, time to let go...

Readers, feel free to comment on this issue...
Really appreciate different points of view.

Yours Sincerely

It has been so long we don't get along
The misunderstanding is still going on
I spent so long thinking it was my fault
Turns out that you were just flawed
You break every single law
You made me mourn for so long
Do you even have a conscience?
For being a hypocrite?
I don't want to care now
Because you certainly don't
Tell me how can you sleep?
How can you live?
How can you walk with so many lies?
How can you breathe knowing all the broken hearts?

Today is the very day
That I decided I had enough
The last word you said had seal it all
You walked on the street like you are so innocent
Don't call me a liar because you lie every second
Pretending to be hurt by a girl
That trick don't work anymore
Do you even have self respect?
Putting on a mask while accusing others?
I don't want to care
Because you certainly don't
Tell me how can you speak?
How can you lie?
How can you stare them in the eyes and pretend?
How can you preach me about stuff you do?

Yours sincerely
You have been unmasked
I know who you are now
Just another ugly face hidden beneath innocence
Just another person who is irresponsible
Yours sincerely
I finally understand you
You are the one
The very one
That I am more than happy to stay away from

PS : This poem is heavily influenced by Hey Monday's How Do You Love Me Now.
I don't know why I wrote this but I sure feel good writing about it.

This poem is specially dedicated to someone very close to heart. F*** you.